6 Ways to Make Deposits in Your Emotional Bank Account

closeup of blank checkMost of us are familiar with the late Stephen Covey’s metaphor of the “Emotional Bank Account”. We make emotional deposits and taking withdrawals from another person both personally and professionally.  When you end up taking more than you give to another person, you end up with a negative balance and believe me there are serious fees and late charges involved.

How do we keep our account in good standing?


  1.  Treat People as individuals Seeking to understand another person is probably one of the most important deposits you can make, and it is the key to every other deposit. You will never know what constitutes a deposit to a person until you understand them as an individual.
  2.  Pay attention to little things – In any relationship, the little things are the big things. A kind word, asking about a sick child or parent of remembering something that is important to them make all the difference.
  3. Clear Expectations – Almost every misunderstanding between people by unclear or unstated expectations.  She expects X to happen in a certain set of circumstances and he expect Z.  That can get a little uncomfortable.
  4. Forgive Mistakes – The only person who never makes a mistake is the one who never tries or takes risks. To function at a high level, a person needs to have confidence that the next big mistake is not going to end or ruin the relationship.
  5. Empower Others – Give people an excellent reputation to live up to. Trust them to make good decisions and most of the time they will.  Showing trust before you ask for trust will put your deposits in the black.
  6. Apologize When You Make a Withdrawal (Mistake) – A sincere apology goes a long way towards moving things back in a positive direction.

Leaders, bosses, sales people. husbands, wives, parents, coworkers and……..well especially husbands and bosses need to learn to make regular consistent deposits that will grow with interest.

Contact me to find out more about how I can work with you and your team to develop a culture of excellent service.

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What people are saying



Filed under Leadership

6 responses to “6 Ways to Make Deposits in Your Emotional Bank Account

  1. Thanks Phil ! Thanks for reminding me of the above !
    Bruce Miller

  2. Sandra Hawkins

    Thanks Phil! Needed that!

  3. All good to be reminded of thanks!!

  4. Anonymous

    Thank you! Good timing!

  5. Pingback: Serve, Lead and Succeed - 6 Ways to Make Deposi...

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