Category Archives: personal development

Most Hear – Few Listen


listen

A person who reports to you has a problem. They knock on your door to ask if you have a minute. They tell you about their situation and you know exactly what the solution is. Feeling really smart, you give them the answer, save the day and send them on their way. The next week they are back with the same type of problem expecting you to solve it for them.

Your biggest customer calls you and explains that your proposal is not exactly what he or she needed and that they have chosen another vendor. You were sure that you had the best product and price yet the competition has the order.

Your teenager looks at you as if you are from Mars, when you tell them that they cannot have a smart phone just because all of their friends do. You don’t understand why they do not get it. After all, you have explained your position several times.

“Listen Learn and Lead” John C Maxwell

To influence others we must be genuinely interested in people. Understanding their prospective can make all the difference. If our ears work we can all hear, yet effective listening is one of the rarest and most important skills. It is a learned behavior.

How do we make that connection? Make more sales? Have greater influence?

Look at the speakerNot your phone, computer or the TV. Give them your undivided attention. (Preaching to myself on this one) 

Listen more than you talkOverall, in a one on one conversation, attempt to listen 75% of time – speak 25% of time. If you are in a meeting of several people you should do even less talking. One definition of a bore is a person who is talking when you want him to listen. 

Be genuinely interested in their thoughts, opinion and experiences. – We each have our own map of the world. You weren’t with them every second of their life so learn all you can from everyone you meet.

Do not think about what to say while you are also trying to listen to the speaker. – I know you have a speedy brain and lots to do, but your brain can easily leave the speaker behind and you will miss critical points. Trust that you will know how to respond to the speaker when the speaker is done.

Listen for the central ideas, not for all the facts.Experienced listeners develop a sense for noticing the most important themes and ideas from their employees. If you notice the major ideas, then often the facts “come along” with those ideas. 

Let the speaker finish. Do not interrupt – When they are done pause and then respond.

Ask questions, reflect back and ask if you are hearing accurately. – Try this. “So help me understand” or “If I hear you correctly your biggest concern is….”

Regularly share indications that you are listening to them. Those indications can be, for example, nodding your head, saying, “Yes” to short points that you agree with.

Be totally present in the moment. –  Let go of your own agendas and intentions to influence, control, or direct.

 “One friend, one person who is truly understanding, who takes the trouble to listen to us as we consider a problem, can change our whole outlook on the world.”

— Dr. E. H. Mayo

 When you make a clear, conscious choice to listen without judgment, to fully learn and understand what others have to communicate, you will inspire greater trust and enjoy greater mutual respect.  Listening with your heart as well as your head and your ears will give you the right to lead and have true influence over others.

Contact me to find out more about how I can work with you and your team to develop a culture of excellent service.

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Get Everything You Want in Life……..


Even if you had never heard of the late Zig Ziglar before the world lost this treasure of a man last week, by now almost everyone knows his most famous quote.

 “You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”

 I think that many people understand this to mean that if you help people buy a lot of stuff from you, you will make a “big ol’ pile of money” (That’s my best Zig Ziglar imitation)

 I believe that Zig was talking about something much deeper and much more spiritual than just moving products or services.  Here are a few points.

  •  Zig does not say that they have to get what they want from you, just that you have to help them get it.
  •  Zig was always careful to point out that the most important things in life cannot be measured in dollars. Faith, family, and attitude always take a higher position.
  • Zig does not say you will get what you want from the people you help. Most likely, you will get what you want from other unexpected places.

This quote is not just about sales. It is about life. It applies to all of us. People, companies, churches and other organizations all work best when serving others.   That is what capitalism is all about. Being rewarded for adding value to others.

I was visiting Christy Taylor at Express Employment Professionals in Rocky Mount NC a few days ago and was explaining my philosophy of Serve, Lead. and Succeed. I asked her about her business and her reply was that she believed that she was here to help the people who live in our area, help the people who work for her and help the businesses who are her clients.  Not a word about profit, market share or a “big ol’ pile of money”

 The next day Christy sent me this quote by Louise Hay “I truly believe that we are here to bless and prosper each other. I reflect this belief in my daily interactions.”  I replied that I felt it summed up our conversation very well.

Christy lives out that belief in not only the work she does for charity and volunteer work, but in the work that she does every day as part of her business.  

 Thanks Christy, for serving first, then leading others.

Serve Lead and Succeed!

The best way to be truly successful in life is to first serve, then lead.

Phil is one of only one thousand leaders worldwide (representing nearly 100 countries) to be trained and certified by John C. Maxwell & his team, as part of the founder’s circle of coaches, speakers and teachers. http://www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/philvanover/
 
Phil works with organizations and individuals to increase sales, productivity and profitability by helping them improve their leadership, sales and customer service skills. He offers workshops, seminars, speaking, and coaching on delivering extraordinary customer service, leadership, and personal development.

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Napoleon Hill- Lesson 10 Accurate Thinking


   “I ask not for more riches but more wisdom with which to make wiser use of the riches you gave me at birth, consisting in the power to control and direct my own mind to whatever ends I might desire.”

The power of thought is the most dangerous or the most beneficial power available to man, depending on how it is used.  Separate facts from fiction or hearsay evidence. Separate facts into classes: important and unimportant.

Napoleon Hill

Hill’s 7 Rules of Accurate Thinking

1. Never accept the opinions of other people as being facts until you have learned the source of those opinions and satisfied yourself of their accuracy.

2. Free advice requires the closest of examination before being acted upon as safe. Generally speaking free advice is worth exactly what it costs.

3. Alert yourself immediately, if someone talks about another in a discourteous or slanderous spirit. This should put you on notice that this information is bias at the very least and may be and outright misrepresentation.

4. When asking others for information, never disclose what you want the information to be, because most people have the bad habit of trying to please under such circumstances.

5. Anything that exists in the universe can be proved. Where no such proof is available it’s safer to assume nothing exists.

6. Truth and falsehood carry with them a silent and invisible means of identifying that they are true or false. Learn to develop your intuitive faculty to enable you to sense what is true and what is false.

7. Follow the habit of asking “How do you know?”

Question: How often do you make a conscious effort to improve the accuracy of your thinking? You can leave your comments below.

 

Phil is one of only one thousand leaders worldwide (representing nearly 100 countries) to be trained and certified by John C. Maxwell & his team, as part of the founder’s circle of coaches, speakers and teachers. http://about.me/phil.vanover
He is an experienced leader who brings a passionate, positive approach to developing people, driving sales through delivering outstanding customer service. Phil can bring training on leadership, service and personal growth to your organization.
You can sign up for Phil’s email newsletter and get a free gift from John Maxwell here FREE GIFT
You can email him with questions or comments @ philvanover@johnmaxwellgroup.com or call at 252 452-7945

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Napoleon Hill- Lesson 8: Enthusiasm


Hill said that enthusiasm is the intense emotion known as burning desire. It comes from within, although it radiates outwardly in the expression of one’s voice and countenance. A person without enthusiasm is like a watch without a mainspring. To become enthusiastic about achieving a desirable goal, keep your mind on that goal day after day.

Enthusiasm is nothing more or less than faith in action.Henry Chester

Zig Ziglar tells a story of a railroad worker and the president of the railroad.

One Monday morning there were several worker of a major railroad company, milling around the tracks ready to start work.  A big black limo pulls up and out steps, a well-dressed man, who was the president of the railroad.  He walks over to one of the workers and says, “Hello Jim, how are you?” Jim says, “I’m doing great, John. Thanks for asking.”

After the railroad president walked away, the other workers were impressed and asked him how he knew the president of the company on a first name basis. Jim told them that twenty years ago they started with the railroad together. The other workers asked Jim “How come he’s president and you still work out here in this hot yard?” Jim replied, “Twenty years ago when John and I started, I went to work for a paycheck and he went to work for the railroad his family and himself. ”

John was enthusiastic about his career. He had goals and enthusiastically perused his them.  Jim had small goals (a paycheck on Friday) and he probably was not very enthusiastic about the 5 days of work he had to do get it. To be enthusiastic you have to act enthusiastically!

Phil is one of only one thousand leaders worldwide (representing nearly 100 countries) to be trained and certified by John C. Maxwell & his team, as part of the founder’s circle of coaches, speakers and teachers. http://about.me/phil.vanover.

He is an experienced leader who brings a passionate, positive approach to developing people, driving sales through delivering outstanding customer service. Phil can bring training on leadership, service and personal growth to your organization.

You can sign up for Phil’s email newsletter and get a free gift from John Maxwell here FREE GIFT

You can email him with questions or comments @ philvanover@johnmaxwellgroup.com or call at 252 452-7945

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